Dona Cadman statements "doctored"

Late breaking....

According to the PMO's office, Conservative candidate Dona Cadman's widely circulated statements regarding the Cons alleged attempt to bribe her now deceased husband Chuck Cadman with a $1M insurance policy have been "doctored".

Following weeks of Ethics Committee chair Con Art Hanger immediately adjourning every single ethics committee meeting rather than permit a motion calling for an independent investigation into the Cadman affair, the PMO's office privately hired two investigators to determine the authenticity of Dona Cadman's following statements. :

"Chuck was really insulted,” she said in a telephone interview with The Globe yesterday. “He was quite mad about it, thinking they could bribe him with that.” “They had the form there. Chuck just had to sign."

While the independent investigators never once used the expression "doctored" in their reports and were not available to the press for questioning, Con MP James Moore expressed annoyance at being questioned about it at the press conference he called to answer questions about it.

"Why is anyone still talking about it?" he said. "We just confirmed this afternoon that Dona Cadman's statements were doctored. Case closed"


Political hacks remain divided as to why the Cons have resurrected an incriminating scandal everyone else has long since forgotten about, but the emerging concensus is that it's because the Cons are stupid short-sighted opportunistic ratfuckers who just make shit up as they go along with no regard for the future consequences of their actions.


Correction : We posted earlier today that the Cons issued a statement to the effect that Dona Cadman's statements were doctored when evidently it was actually a journalist's taped conversation with Harper that was at issue. We apologise for any confusion.